Killing Time in an Airport

This morning I find myself waiting for my son and his family's flight to arrive from Columbus, Ohio. I am here with my wife so at least I am not alone, which makes waiting a little easier. We have a lot of fog today and so flights are delayed coming in. So how can you pass the time at an airport waiting? That is a question I am sure a lot of people will be asking as they travel this Holiday season.

The airport in Salt Lake does not have a lot to keep you entertained outside of security. Once through security there are a lot of different shops and restaurants, including a Lego store which has a lot of different activities to keep one entertained. The only problem is that all of those little pieces are very easy to lose if you are not careful. So I'll pass on that activity for now. The real question is how to get through security if you are not flying. The easy solution is to purchase a fully refundable plane ticket for later in the day. Once you get through security, just cancel it and your money will be back on your credit card before you leave the airport. It is a trick I have used more than once.

Another thing to keep yourself entertained is to catch up on your e-mail. That is what my wife is doing right now. You do have to be careful with the free airport WiFi as it can be very easy for a hacker to steal your e-mail password. You may be better off using your phone as a hotspot and using it instead. Then there is my favorite, using a virtual private network or VPN that hides your network connection. I have a VPN for work and use it whenever I connect to the free airport WiFi. My e-mail only took me a few minutes this morning and so what should I do for the next hour?

I could watch a movie but it is too early in the day to start watching a movie. Perhaps if it is closer to the evening I would appreciate that more. I know my grandkids don't care what time of the day it is, they are always down for watching a movie. I'm sure that is what they are doing on the plane right now.

Last year for Christmas my wife got me a kindle electronic reader. I recently loaded up a new book on it and will probably pull that out shortly. Until then I've written in my blog, something else that helps pass the time. I could also annoy my wife. Maybe I should go get myself a breakfast burrito instead.

Paper or Electronic Boarding Pass

Yesterday I went to print my airplane boarding pass at the office before heading to the airport. One of my good friends seemed surprised that I didn't just send the boarding pass to my phone. He knows me as a technically-savvy guy and figured an electronic boarding pass on the phone is better than a printed one.

This is a discussion I have with several of my frequent flyer buddies all the time. Some of us prefer paper tickets while others prefer electronic ones. While I can't speak for everyone I can tell you why I prefer paper boarding passes: They are faster when going through TSA. When you spend as much time at an airport as I do, you start to notice that the people who slow down the security line are those trying to pull up their electronic tickets on their phones. The rest of us are stuck waiting behind them and even though we are not that much slower, it sure feels like it.

What is even worse is when a family tries to go through security and all of the tickets are on Dad or Mom's phone. You might as well just lie down and take a nap.

There is a secret if you insist on keeping your boarding pass on your phone. When you initially load the boarding pass onto your phone, look at it and take a screen shot being sure to capture the 2-dimensional bard code. Then you don't have to worry about having a fast network connection or where to pull up your boarding pass. Just bring up the screen shot and you will get through security without delay.

The second reason I prefer a paper boarding pass over using my phone is that the ticket readers take longer with a phone than with a piece of paper. Last night I boarded my flight from San Francisco to Salt Lake and my paper ticket scanned two to three times faster than Alex's who used his phone.

Now the detractors of paper tickets tout that they are not wasting paper by printing a ticket and they have a point. If saving paper is high on your list of priorities, then use the screenshot trick. As for me, I look for other ways of saving paper. Two pieces of paper a week is not that much. Also, paper does grow on trees.

Dog vs. Technology

Sometimes technology is no match for a good old dog at your side. Yesterday I headed to the Salt Lake Airport to catch my usual Monday morning flight to the Bay Area. A lot of other people seemed to be gathered at the airport yet the security line moved fast enough that no significant line existed. The secret is that TSA is using dogs in one of the terminals instead of those insanely expensive body scanners. All of the lines merge into one section where passengers have to walk past a dog with his handler. Then it is like going back in time 15 years. There is an X-ray machine for baggage and a metal detector for the passengers. No need to remove shoes. No need to take your laptop out of the bag. Consequently the line moves incredibly fast.

Engineers think they can solve problems with technology and sometimes they are right. Other times you just need a cute-slobbery pet and life is better. Now I wish all of the airports would switch from expensive machines to furry and lovable dogs. Airport congestion will improve greatly and anyone who travels will appreciate that. Oh a word of advice: don't pet the dog.

Lines at the Airport

Every Monday I get the joy of standing in the same security line at the airport. If you didn't catch it, the word "joy" was soaked in sarcasm. I hate that line. The funny thing is, if I just wait 20 minutes to get to the airport, there is no line. I can sail through security with nobody in front of me. Instead, I try to give myself plenty of time in case there is a flat tire or some other emergency.

The airport has two lines: one for vacationers and the other for seasoned travelers. One would think that the expert line would move faster because everyone knows the fastest way to get through the x-ray machines and metal detectors. Unfortunately that is not the case because of one moronic TSA employee. There are 4 agents checking tickets and identification. Rather than split the agents between the two lines, he allocates three agents for the vacation line and one agent for the experts. Naturally the line with more agents goes much quicker. Since I travel every Monday, I know this and generally get in the faster line. It is interesting to watch the reaction of the business travelers once they realize their mistake. Unfortunately they are powerless to voice their dissatisfaction. The moment you mention the unfair policy to Mr. Moron, you get volunteered for that all-encompassing-body-cavity search.

Computers have lines or queues for dealing with tasks. That is what allows them to multi-task. Sometimes they use LIFO's (last in, first out) and sometimes they use FIFO's (first in, first out). There are all sorts of algorithms to ensure that important processes are dealt with first and less important ones wait patiently. I only wish the airport operated with such consistency.

Today a couple came through the airport and they were late for their flight. At the time they were sitting in the security line, their flight was boarding. I told them they should go through the empty handicap line and the TSA agents would help them quickly get through security. The couple took my advice and were immediately met by my least favorite TSA agent. He informed them they would have to go to the end of the line and wait like everyone else. Afraid of making a scene, the couple came back to their previous place in line. All of us in line were in a collective charitable mood and allowed them immediate access to the front of the line. The couple was able to make their flight, as I didn't see them hanging around as I passed the gate their gate on the way to mine.

This whole experience left me wondering about the security system at our airports. How do they pick TSA agents? Is it the best and the brightest, or individuals willing to work with grumpy travelers for $13/hour? Don't you think they could find people that at least know how FIFO's (first in, first out) work, so it isn't a guessing game as to when you will get through security.

Naturally I didn't say a word while I was at the airport this morning. My silence enabled me to pass through security without being flagged as a "random" traveler required to go through extra screening. Now that I have safely arrived at my destination, I can post my displeasure of the less-than-intelligent TSA officer. While it is probably safe to assume the guy can't read or even work a computer, it is probably the relative limited readership of this posting that will allow me to pass through the airport unscathed next week.