You Can't Unsend a Text Message

This morning I awoke to my mobile phone announcing I had received a text message. I immediately rolled over and went back to sleep without reading it. Later when I got up and got ready to go skiing before work, I read through the message from son in Ohio. He made a comment about how he can take his whole family skiing on Christmas Eve out there for the price of a single lift ticket at Alta. That includes lift tickets and ski rentals for his 2 girls. I immediately thought about sending a response letting him know that people get on airplanes to come ski Alta and nobody would do that to ski Ohio. I mentioned my response to my wife and she responded that I probably shouldn't send that. I kept my comment to myself and headed up skiing.

Early in my career at Oracle doing technical support work, I responded to a fellow coworker with an angry sounding e-mail about how he wasn't doing his job and shouldn't expect me to do it for him. That didn't sit well with him and he replied being sure to copy my boss. I realized that I probably should have waited a bit before responding to his original e-mail and sent something much more professional. I responded to him with an apology stating that I sent an e-mail without taking the time to properly articulate my thoughts and that I did not mean to offend him. That smoothed things over but probably wasn't ever forgotten.

While skiing this morning I continued thinking about my son's text message and realized that my son is probably missing family close by and would appreciate a positive response instead of me making fun of Ohio skiing. I got home and responded that it is great that the whole family will be skiing on Christmas Eve even if we won't be at the same ski area. He liked my response.

This experience reminded me that you can't unsend a text message. While you may want to quickly respond in the heat of the moment, sometimes it is best to sit back and think about the best response. Your quick joke may not be received with the same jovial spirit with which you sent it. When anger needs to be diffused, you may be adding fuel to the fire. In my case, my son is missing our Christmas traditions in Utah and needed reassurance that it is fine for him to have Christmas at home with his own family. 

A Case for Text Messaging

I have never been a fan of using text messaging. That being said, I do recognize that it is a prevalent form of communication and use it when necessary. Today I have discovered a case where text messaging beats other forms of communication and have been using it for that.

Before continuing I should share why I hate texting. I am a fast typist and prefer to use a full-sized keyboard instead of a tiny one on my phone's screen. That is one reason my personal computer is a Mac. It seamlessly allows me to see and respond to my phone's messages on my computer. When someone sends me a message, I can use that full-sized keyboard to respond. Furthermore I don't have to take my phone out of my pocket. I agree that if you need to send a short message to someone, it is easier to send a quick text than to call them or send an e-mail. If there is going to be any back-and-forth, use the phone part of your smartphone and give them a call. Your communication will go much quicker.

Today I have been trying to schedule a meeting between two people and there has been a lot of back-and-forth. While a phone call would be nice, that is not a good solution with more than two people. One person is generally busy doing other things, like me for example, and it is tough to get everyone on the phone together. In this case, I had a young woman ask to meet with a senior manager. While I would have liked to just introduce the two and have them work out a time to meet, protocol in this situation dictates that I act as a gating person. Otherwise the senior manger would be inundated with meeting requests and never be able to get any work done. I asked the senior manager for some preferred times and got a number of options that I passed onto the young woman. Unfortunately none of the times worked for her because of other commitments and so there has been some back and forth to find a time that will work.

The nature of text messaging allows a conversation like this to take place over several hours without ripping anyone away from meetings or interrupting the current flow of the day. Now one could argue that this process could have been shortened by having access to the young woman's and the senior manager's calendar, making it easy to find a time for the two to meet. Unfortunately there are a number of scenarios where that doesn't work. One that I run into frequently is working across time zones that are far enough apart that one of the two parties will have to meet outside of regular work hours which is what happened today.

I still dislike that some people would rather send a text than talking on the phone but recognized there are reasons where text messaging is the best form of communication.

Sending Text Messages from your Computer with Android Phones

Apple recently released information about their latest phones and I don't see the need to spend $1000 or so to upgrade the one I have. Sure I will get a credit for trading in my iPhone 12 mini but it won't be a straight swap and so I am keeping my current iPhone for now. 

One of the reasons I have stuck with an iPhone for as long as I have is because I can stay on top of my text messages using my Mac computer. While I am not too slow texting using the smartphone's tiny keyboard, I am lightning quick using a full-sized one. Furthermore I sit in front of my computer all day and if I get an important text, I can see the message immediately without having to pull out my phone. My oldest son feels the same way but has grown tired of constantly being tethered to Apple's overpriced phones.

My son has been looking at Android phones just to compare specs and also did some research on if it is possible to use a desktop computer to send and receive messages for Android devices. He found a CNet article that shows how to do it. This actually opens up a few possibilities for smartphone options.

One of the advantages of working for Sony is that I have access to great discounts on Sony products. Now Sony isn't a big player in the United States when it comes to Smartphones. However they do have some great products that are technically superior to Apple's. Right now there is a special for a phone that retails for $1800 and I can get it for $400 as a Sony employee. It is tempting now that one hurdle that keeps me on iOS is gone. Perhaps when my current phone's battery needs replacing, I can just replace it with an inexpensive Android.

Ode to a Good Friend, Dusty Boren

Last night I was practicing guitar so I could play "Silent Night" for a group of women at the request of my wife when I received an important text message. One of my good friends, Dusty Boren, passed away yesterday. That is one of those messages you don't want to receive in a text but it is the quickest way to let a large number of people know about an event in a very short amount of time. Dusty's health has been in decline for the past year or so and so the news was not unexpected.

Dusty was born about 2 months before me and so we are the same age. I first met Dusty and honestly avoided him. He had Down's Syndrome. I didn't have much experience with it and felt uncomfortable around him. That didn't keep him from coming up to me and proclaiming that I was his buddy. I quickly realized that I didn't need to be uncomfortable around Dusty and to just return the kindness and friendship he showed me. Needless to say we quickly became good friends and have remained such over the past decade or so.

Most people with Down's Syndrome struggle with weight but Dusty was an exception. He made sure not to overeat and always got out for exercise. That means he would come by my house daily either by walking or riding his bike. When I was not at home, my wife would tell me he stopped by. When I was at home, I would sit down on the front steps and share 5 or 10 minutes with him before he continued his walk or bicycle ride. Sometimes I would help him fix a flat tire or pump one up that needed a bit more air.

Some of my favorite memories with Dusty are when we went skiing together. Every year he attended the Steve Young Classic held at Snowbird. This is an event where Steve Young invited a bunch of sports celebrities to lift the spirits of people with any type of disability. During the ski race, Dusty always seemed to win and everyone made a big deal out of it. That was a lot of fun but the most fun I had during those events is when I took Dusty on the chairlift further up the mountain. Dusty skied very well given that he only went once a year. He even braved Snowbird's half-pipe and did amazing. The half-pipe is my favorite memory of skiing with him and has me smiling as I type this.

The physical limitations placed upon him during his mortal life probably brought a lot of heartache to his parents and family. They didn't bother Dusty one bit. He always seemed happy and his smile was contagious. May we all be a bit like Dusty and forget our trials so that we lift those around us and put a smile on everyone's faces.

Waiting in a World of Instant Gratification

This morning I got a text from my wife commenting about how it is tough for one of our children to wait in today's society of instant gratification. My oldest daughter put her car for sale on a popular website in Utah. She has started commuting more and wants to switch out her perfect snow car for something that gets a bit better gas mileage. My daughter listed the car last night and is frustrated that it hasn't sold yet after only a few hours. I had to laugh that she had such high hopes for selling her car so quickly. In order to do that, you have to price it well below what it is worth.

My daughter's experience highlights a trend in society today. We are so used to getting things almost instantly that we forget that certain things take time. If you want to watch a movie, there is no need to go anywhere like we used to have to. Simply log into your favorite streaming service and you can watch it on any number of devices. Want to send someone a quick note, text them and you will usually get an instant response. Most people are more likely to respond to your text message than they are to answer your call.

Contrast those immediate things with those that take time. When you are creating a masterpiece, you make sure everything is perfect. If you want to get the most money for the car you are selling, wait until the weekend when people have the time to look for new cars. Remember that some things are not instant and take time.

I Hate Texting

I was the proverbial fly on the wall during a discussion this evening and it has caused me to consider my thoughts about texting. Before tonight I was firm in my hatred for the method of communication. You can chalk it up to all the bozos I see driving around, texting, and not paying attention to anyone else on the road. You can also chalk it up to an experience I had where my company was paying a consultant large sums of money only to have him spend all of his time texing and not doing any work for us.

Unfortunately I am old, compared to my kids, and I was informed that is how the current generation communicates. The question came up about what upper limit to the number of text messages should be set for a teenager. A father asked if 5,000 was the right number and a teen responded that it seemed high. So I asked the teen how many text messages he sent. "About a thousand," was his response. I was amazed. I only send and receive about 50 in any given month. But then look at the first sentence of this paragraph. Once again, I am old.

I guess I don't understand this new generation's infatuation with texting. I would much rather call someone and get an immediate answer to my question. Sure, I'll send a text if I am in the middle of something and need to get back to a person. However, if it takes more than two messages, it is time to pick up the phone. After all, isn't that why we all carry phones in the first place?

Writing Skills in Decline

Yesterday my wife and I visited with a friend who is a school teacher. During the course of the conversation the teacher mentioned that cursive or handwriting is in decline because kids are using keyboards on computers instead of handwriting for school reports. My wife then volunteered that spelling is also going downhill because of all the texting short-cuts being used. That got me thinking as to how technology is changing the way we communicate and trying to decide if it is good or bad.

I can't say that I am sad to see cursive being de-emphasized. I prefer printing to handwriting and was glad to finally get to a level in school that allowed me to start typing papers. I have had access to a computer with word processing software since before high school. So I took a typing class as soon as one was offered in middle school. It didn't take long before I could type faster than I could write. Most of my high school homework was typed. The only problem with handwriting being a dying skill is that it is tough to take notes. Whether you are in a school class or participating in a meeting at work, note taking is an important skill and cursive is much quicker than printing.

Texting is a different story. Personally I can't wait for the texting fad to die. I can agree that it does have a use as a communications tool but should be used in moderation. Unfortunately it is replacing supperior methods of communcation and that is bad for society.

I am so against texting that I have had it removed from all our cell phones except mine where I have 200 free text messages per month. If I could split those 200 messages with my wife and kids' phones I would. However I get them because of the type of phone I have and so I don't have that option. I just checked my bill and I have a total of 3 incoming and outgoing messages last month. That is all anybody should have for a given month.

My oldest daughter, who is in college, was glad to get off the family plan so she could start sending and receiving text messages. The catch is that she has to pay for her own phone. She had over 1000 text messages her first month. I asked her why she had so many. She said that it was all related to coordinating time with friends. In other words she spent 1000 text messages trying to get a groups of people together. I suggested that she might want to use the "phone" part of her cell phone and just give people a call. That would cut down on the number of text messages by a factor of 10. Furthermore she could use the conference call feature to get everyone on the line at the same time. That would make the coordination of different schedules infinitely easier.

I'm not sure my daughter is completely on-board with my idea that texting has gotten out of hand. However she did mention a conversation she had with several friends at school that echoed my pick-up-the-phone-and-call sentiments. I'm hoping they are not idle words meant to please Dad.

People talk about how great texting is because it allows them to do multiple things at the same time. Unfortunately this is a hollow excuse that is not really accurate. Trying to use that little phone keyboard to crank out a short message requires all of the person's attention. If he or she is in a meeting where important information is being given, that information needs to be repeated, wasting everyone else's time. If the person is driving a car, anyone withing a quarter mile is in danger of being in a serious accident. I once had to fire a high-priced consultant because he spent 50 minutes of our hour together reading or sending text messages. If my company is paying somone for an hour's worth of work, there better be an hour's work completed.

So when is a text message a valid form of communication? When all other forms are ineffective. I once had a close friend congratulate me via text message after my college football team handily beat his. He was at the game and the stadium was so noisy he wouldn't have been able to hear me if we were talking on the phone. Sure he could have waited until he got home to give me a call but if technology can help us communicate that much quicker, shouldn't we use it? Let's just not overuse it.

Camping Again

I am about to head out the door to go camping with my Scouts. One thing I like to do before each camping trip is print up a brochure for the boys and their parents. It has all the important information like dates, times, packing list, menu, and a permission slip for the parents to sign. It saves me from having to answer a bunch of last-minute questions.

Normally I pass out the brochure at the Scout meeting before the camping trip. However this week we did a bike ride and I knew the paper would get lost if I gave it to the boys. So last night I leashed the dog and set out on foot. The idea was to visit every boy and make sure they were all personally invited on the camp out.

The weather was perfect as I walked around the neighborhood. The dog was well behaved. I was able to chat with those neighbors out working in their yards as I made my rounds. It was amazing to me how many people I know that live near me. Furthermore some boys that were thinking about skipping the weekend outing felt like they would miss out on something special and decided to make arrangements to go.

This got me thinking about how technology is changing our personal interactions. My walk ended up being about two miles and my body needed the exercise (as did the dog). I didn't use a car. I didn't use a phone. I didn't use e-mail. I didn't use a text message. I suppose I could have sat on my indoor bike and sent a text message to each of the boys with the same results. However it was very rewarding to pay a personal visit to each of my Scouts.

Remember that technology is meant to make our lives easier. If you have to send more than one text message to communicate with someone, don't you think you would be better served by giving them a call? If you need to ask your neighbor a question and you can see them in the front yard, isn't it easiest to just open your front door and talk to them? Just a little food for thought as I spend yet another night without the luxury of technology.